Diary of A Seasoned Life – Taking on the Caregiver Role

What is a caregiver? According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, a caregiver is an unpaid individual involved in assisting others with activities of daily living and/or medical tasks. Formal caregivers are paid to provide these services.

Statistics from NAFC and AARP state that there were 43.5 million caregivers in 2015 and 75% were female. Of the number of male caregivers, 40% use paid caregiving services.  A much smaller percentage of women caregivers use a service and 57% report they do not have a choice in the matter, although admit much of the lack of choice is self-imposed. 43% feel it is their personal responsibility because no one else will do it or insurance will not pay for professional help. 12% report pressure from the care receiver and 8% report the pressure comes from other family members.

The average age of a caregiver is 49 years old and the loved one receiving the care averages an age of 69 years. Spouses of caregivers average an age of 62 years. The average number of years a person remains a caregiver is 4 years in duration. 40% of these caregivers are in high burden situations, too, spending over 21 hours per week caring for their loved one.

I reached out to Steve Hanson, President/Owner of Home Care Assistance in Rockwall, Texas for advice he could share with caregivers or people who are considering taking on the responsibility. He wrote a blog on his website: www.homecareassistancerockwall.com about the 7 Things to Consider Before Becoming a Family Caregiver.

1. Your emotional & physical health
2. Financial Implications
3. Your relationship with your loved one
4. Changes in Living Arrangements
5. Accepting Support
6. Time Constraints
7. Your loved one’s special needs

I can tell you from my own personal experience in taking on the responsibility of caring for my 80 year old mother, this is all very true. Once I transitioned from caring for her while she was living in either a skilled nursing facility or assisted living to moving her into my home, the stress and burden was increased significantly. The affect on my own life has been at times overwhelming. I am one of the few female caregivers that made the decision to hire professional help. I do not believe I would have any sanity left, if I had tried to do all of it on my own.

I asked Steve about the importance of these “caregivers” to give themselves a break and what factors they should consider when deciding if hiring a care giving service is right for them. Steve said, “It starts with accepting that you cannot control the health effects of aging. Your parents will go through several changes and in most cases your roles are reversed. As they go through these changes, they may not always be aware of the impact they are having on you. More importantly, as you take on the caregiving role, you put your parents care before you and that is not healthy. Caregiver burnout is real!”

He offered the following information and advice:

Caring for the Caregiver is Very Important:

• The Family Member feels the pressure of the added responsibly
• Begins to try to do everything
• Tries to balance family, work and caregiving
• At first this works, but then as the care needs increase, signs of caregiver burnout become visible – Rushed, Stressed, Tired, Anxious, just to name a few
• Caregiver Burnout is more common than you think:   46% of caregivers suffer from depression
•  It can impact your health for many years  

The Five Leading Signs of Caregiver Burnout:   

1. Less energy
2. Sick and run down
3. Exhausted even though you sleep
4. Neglect your own needs because you’re too busy or don’t care anymore
5. You feel helpless or hopeless

How to Care for Yourself While You Are Caregiving:

1. Nap when our loved one naps-instead of cleaning or doing chores
2. Stop at your favorite coffee shop-take 20 minutes to relax
3. Take a deep breathe-a deep breathe can help relieve some anxiety and stress
4. Go outside-fresh air does wonders to relieve stress
5. Take some time off-get some relief, even if it is for an afternoon or evening
6. Hire a caregiver to help share some or all of the responsibilities

I would also add that it is important to maintain your personal relationships, career, and hobbies. It is very easy to fall into a routine of daily care for the loved one that takes up the vast majority of the day. Day after day of this will be taxing on anyone. Your work and relationships will suffer just as much as you do personally. Do not be afraid to ask for help from a variety of sources that can include those other family members who put the pressure on for you to be the caretaker!

Hiring a caregiving service such as Home Care Assistance is definitely helped me be able to continue with my work and maintain personal time. You can hire a service like this, in most cases, for a minimum of 4 hours. They can come every day or just a few days. I have also discovered that some of the assisted living facilities have adult day care. This can be an option if you need to go on vacation or be out of town for work. If your loved one had the forethought to get long term care insurance, then much of the cost should be covered by the insurance company. If they did not, your sanity is worth the cost of whatever you or your loved one can afford.