It should be safe to say that all of us have lost a very dear loved one or friend in our lifetime. As we get older, it seems more frequent. My first memories of loss would be that of my grandfathers. Both of them passed away when I was under 10 years of age. Today I only remember being around them when they were alive and what was endearing of each one instead of the funerals. Children are often more resilient in dealing with 
loss than adults.
As I got older I had to learn to deal with grief after losing my grandmothers, beloved pets, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and my father. Losing a spouse, child, or beloved parent can be some of the more devastating experiences. Many people deal with grief differently. There are some who do not deal with it at all.
Men tend to fall into this category most often. They may feel that showing any emotion is showing weakness or they mask their pain by staying busy and ignoring the hurt. Most grief experts emphasize the critical importance of a man’s awareness of his own grief, his conscious relationship with it, and his ability to feel it. A man needs to allow grief to move through him so that his natural energy and innate masculine power will not be blocked and withheld, both from himself and the world.
Most people just want to know how to make the pain go away. To answer this, I have to quote Dr. Laura Schlessinger. When she is asked from callers how to get over the pain of loss, she says, “I can’t cure normal. The pain you feel after losing someone is normal.” You have to feel it. You have to learn to cope with it. In time, the pain will become less and less. It just takes time.
Having a support mechanism is crucial. Find someone with whom you can talk, whether it be with a friend, pastor, therapist, or family member. If talking with strangers is more comfortable, find a grief support group in your community. Just finding that you are not alone is sometimes a big help. I reached out to Pastor Gunnar Ledermann of the Divine Peace Church of 
Rockwall, Texas for his insight concerning death. I asked, “Do you recommend support groups, and if so, what is your experience with them and how they have helped those grieving?” He answered, “Yes, I do recommend Christian support groups who help people by giving them a place to vent their frustrations to those willing to listen and share the load of their burdens. The pitfall of many groups is that they are Christian in name, only in that, they attempt to help people by giving them a set of steps or rules by which they can improve their state of mind, but this only adds to someone’s burden. Rather, a Christian support group listens to those who are grieving, grieves with them and gives them the ultimate comfort that Jesus has overcome death by his resurrection. Those who hope in Jesus, do not have to fear death and get to look forward to being reunited with their loved ones in heaven.”
He sent me a copy of a sermon he gave at Easter time. Below is an excerpt:
“Jesus came to this world to suffer and die because that is what all of us do. All of us live in this world for a while, then we die. We die for the same reason we experience hardships in this world because of sin. Sin is evil, it is doing something that is bad. When someone does something bad, they deserve punishment. God tells us that the punishment he demands for sin is death. Death means separation from the living and death in sin means separation from God, but God doesn’t want us to be separated from him. God loves us, so he sent Jesus into this world to rescue us.
Jesus had to come into this world to suffer and die, but he didn’t do anything bad, he wasn’t sinful. Instead, he lived a perfect life, so he didn’t deserve to die. Because he didn’t deserve to die, he died as a sacrifice. He made a trade, one perfect life of the Son of God for all the sinful lives of mankind. That was the plan God revealed in his Word from the beginning and that is what Jesus did. God said that he would punish Jesus for our sins, then treat us as if we had lived Jesus’ perfect life. Credited with Jesus’ perfect life, we now appear good before God and look forward to resurrection and life.”
People who have lost someone need to hear this message. “This is the only message that is stronger than the pain that death causes. Jesus’ resurrection stopped the tears of the women. He showed them that they hadn’t lost him, but he had won them the victory over death. Jesus’ resurrection meant that those women would someday be resurrected and reunited to live with Jesus forever in heaven.
We cannot live in this world without Jesus. We cannot live without him in our lives or we are merely surviving until we die. When we remain connected to God’s Word, then we see what Jesus’ resurrection has done for us. Jesus has freed us from finding our only hope for life in this world. Jesus frees us from our sins and death so that we can live in this world at peace knowing that when we face death, it is not the end. Jesus told us that he would rise from the dead and so will you.”
After my father passed away, there were many times that I felt he was 
watching over me. I have had many dreams about my grandmother in which she is comforting me in times of stress. These experiences were strong and seemed so real. I asked Pastor Ledermann about guardian angels. He commented, “We all have angels guarding us at all times. They are God’s messengers who help us. They are a great comfort. The great comfort in Matthew 18 is also how passionate God is for all those who believe in him. He wants those who know him to remain faithful, so his cautions in this chapter are to remain faithful in the study of his Word, not to change his Word and not to lead others astray by changing his Word.”
In closing, it is normal to grieve and it is an important process one must go through in order to move on with life. Your loved one would want you to continue on and remember what was good and special about your relationship. God wants you to have faith you will be with them again someday.
P. S. Divine Peace Church Rockwall is located at 305 S. Fannin St (the wedding chapel) in Rockwall, TX 75087. The website is: divinepeace.com. You can email Pastor Gunnar Ledermann at gunnar@divinepeace.com .
