Diary of a Seasoned Life – The First Days in a Skilled Nursing Facility

When mother arrived at SOS Skilled Nursing (remember a fictitious name), she was turned over to a nurse and nurses’ manager for check-in. They started off with checking her vitals and a brief assessment of her condition.  They did not allow catheters, so hers was removed.  She was still bed-ridden and using a newly placed feeding tube located just below her left ribs.  She had not eaten or had anything to drink through her mouth for a week. The reason for this was due to the fact that she had failed a swallow test in the hospital.  The hospital had sent detailed documents about her stroke and diagnosis, as well as, care instructions.

She was aware of where she was and recognized me, but her ability to communicate was limited.  She was diagnosed with aphasia which is a condition of the brain that commonly occurs after a stroke.  In layman’s terms, she had problems translating her speech to match her thoughts or intentions.  I would only hear words that did not make sense to me.  At first, she was unaware that she was not using the right words.   It was like learning to understand a toddler’s baby talk.  After a while, moms can understand their child’s vocabulary and I slowly began to figure out what Mom was trying to tell me.

The therapists began working with Mom within the first couple of days of her arrival.  The goals were small in the beginning.

  1. Sitting up and awake for a few hours a day
  2. Sitting in a wheelchair and adjusting to staying in the chair for as long as possible.
  3. Practicing using pictures and cards to communicate what she needed.
  4. Swallowing exercises and speech exercises to wake up areas of her brain.

The milestones in the first month of mother’s stay were really baby steps. I would get excited just to see her out of bed.  The communication was improving somewhat and her swallowing exercises were helping. She passed her second swallow test which graduated her to food by mouth that was pureed and liquids that were thickened.  The biggest issue with all of this was that the pureed food looked very unappetizing and Mother would often refuse to eat it.  She also did not adjust to staying in a wheelchair for more than an hour to two. She would get upset if she could not get back into bed when she wanted.

This is where the issue with the large number of patients per caregivers came to the surface.  I would come in and Mother would be eating her meals in bed.  She would often need assistance in getting cleaned up or her teeth brushed, but there were no caregivers available to help her for long periods of time.  She had been diagnosed and treated for a bladder infection and hemorrhoids, which were obviously caused by her adult garments not being changed often enough. There were days when her breakfast tray was still in her room at 5PM.  If she was in her wheelchair and wanted to go back to bed, she could be waiting for 45 minutes or longer for someone to come help. One day, she got impatient waiting and tried to get out of her chair herself and fell.  She hit her head on the floor and had a cut and a black eye for a couple of weeks!  I must have complained to the staff and nurses’ manager a dozen times, but I was always told that they were just short-handed and doing the best they could.

After about 2 months in this facility, the therapists had Mother standing and learning to use her left hand.  Her speech was getting better and her accuracy with words was about 50%.  I was beginning to get excited about her progress and had great hope that she was on the road to recovery.  She had passed a third swallow test and they put her on a regular diet.  She just needed her food cut up for her, but it no longer had to be modified.

After a couple of weeks, I started noticing Mother was wheezing and asked the nurse to check her out.  They told me that they didn’t hear anything that unusual and it was probably just congestion from allergies.  Over the next several days, it only got worse and a terrible cough developed.  I insisted that they have a doctor examine her, so they got the nurse practitioner to okay an x-ray of her chest.  I was told that the results did not show any fluids in her lungs and that they were giving her something for allergies.  I was also told that she was given antibiotics for yet another bladder infection. Another several days goes by, with Mother’s condition only getting worse. She was not eating and refusing to get out of bed.  Her therapy appointments were being missed.  She was getting very weak.  I kept insisting that I was concerned she was getting pneumonia, but they showed no concern.

4 more weeks go by. Around midnight, I received a late night call from the nurse who said that Mom was running a very high fever and they were ordering another x-ray.  The next morning I came in to see her and was stopped as I walked down the hall by the nurse.  She tells me that Mother was diagnosed with pneumonia, because the x-ray did show fluid in her lungs!  I asked if they were sending her to the hospital and was told, “No.”  The nurse said she was being given a stronger antibiotic, but that was all.  In disbelief, I went straight to see Mom and found her looking and sounding terrible.  My intuition was telling me that she needed to be hospitalized.  One of the therapists came in to check on Mom and I told her my concern.  She just said to me, “I understand. If you feel she needs to go to the hospital, you have every right to ask she be sent there.”  I asked her, if she were her mom, would she send her to the hospital?  She just repeated to me what she said earlier.  I read between the lines and went straight to the nurse’s station to demand an ambulance be called to transport Mom to the emergency room.  They told me it could take up to 2 hours for a “non-emergency”.  I insisted they call.  Thirty minutes later, Mom was being transported to St. David’s Medical Center.

Tomorrow, I will tell you what happened next ……….

Diary of a Seasoned Life – The Transition from Independent Living to Dependent

Making the decision to move yourself or a loved one into some type of dependent care or assisted living facility is one of the most difficult things to do. You want to do what is best for all concerned.  Often this decision does lie on the shoulders of a spouse or child, so it can be difficult to find the best way to help the individual warm up to the idea and understand the reasons why they need to be there.  Mother understood the reasons and agreed, but I knew that it was the last place she wanted to be.  Even though she had owned and operated a nursing home for decades, she had told me for years that she never wanted to live in one.  She also did not ever want to be a burden to her children or grandchildren.  She accepted the idea as a temporary place for her to heal and get better.  She was also comforted in the fact that her granddaughter and I would be able to come and see her every day. This type of arrangement might not be possible for other families, but I cannot stress enough the importance, not only to your loved one’s well-being and happiness, but also to keep an eye on the level of care they are receiving.

In the previous post, I mentioned the caregiver to patient ratios.  It is not an exaggeration that in almost any type of dependent care facility, the ratios are terrible.  The best I have seen it anywhere is 1 caregiver for every 7-8 patients.  If even just 50% are not able to do most of their personal care without the aid of another person, it is an overwhelming task.  These caregivers often work long shifts with little pay.  The facilities will tell you that the turnover for these employees is high.  They will also tell you that they know they are “stretched to the limits, but they keep on staff the ratio that the health department suggests as the minimum number and that is all they can afford.”

This comment leads me to discuss the costs.  Different places will charge different rates, but none of them are lower than independent living.  It is probably average in the State of Texas for the rate to be $140/day + extras. These extras include medications, physical therapy, doctor’s visits, lab tests and incontinence supplies.  For those seasoned life people who are 65 and older that qualify for Medicare, you will be covered as a patient in a skilled nursing facility for up to 100 days.  Medicare paid a great portion of Mother’s expenses, but not all.  This is where supplemental insurance is crucial.  This second insurance will pick up most of the other costs up to the limits within your policy.  Mother had also planned ahead and purchased hospital income insurance and prescription insurance.  What is difficult is what do you do when you or your loved one needs to be in a place such as this for more than 100 days or you do not qualify for Medicare?  There are several options, but you need to plan ahead for these or it can break the bank and fast.

Long Term Care insurance is the number one thing I would recommend everyone obtain.  It is expensive, but is way less of a cost to you if you ever find yourself in a similar situation. Without insurance, self pay is an option, but be prepared for expenses of $7000-$8000/mo.  You can get a caregiver service to come to your home or assisted living facility, but be prepared to shell out $30-40/hr.  If you are a veteran or wife of a veteran, you should be able to get some assistance in paying for long term care, but it can take some time to apply and the amount they pay may be based on your income.  In the State of Texas, lower income people can apply for Medicaid.  Elder care attorneys can assist for applying for assistance with these agencies; however, they in themselves charge hefty fees.  I was told $10,000 for one I talked to on Mom’s behalf.  I chose not to hire one.  These elder care attorneys will also tell you about “strategies” to re-allocate your money and income in order to help an individual qualify that would not ordinarily qualify.  These strategies made me skeptical, but I imagine they are legal.

I also learned more about hospice care services in this stage, as well.  I think most people, like me, thought that hospice care is for people who are on their death bed.  I learned that they offer services to individuals and families who just need help with an ill loved one.  It is not full time assistance, but they can help a few times a week with certain things.

In the next entry, I will share more about what happened in this skilled nursing facility ……